Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Hello and welcome to the second episode of the Yapoff podcast. I am your host, Ted Tronicosta. With me as always, John Perez, Sam Tidings and Joe Brown.
Love. All right, cool. You know, I eventually will figure out.
[00:00:19] Speaker B: No, I I love that we're so committed to.
[00:00:23] Speaker A: You know, you'll eventually say something. So let's actually get to a little bit of housekeeping. We first episode we the high school movie draft movies that came out in high school.
We have some answers to the poll but I'm gonna wait another episode before I announce the official winner because I feel like I neglected in mentioning that the poll could be found in the show notes on all audio only ways there was it showed up on screen and was also in the description on the video version. But I feel like I should do some proper due diligence. The poll will once again be in this episode show notes as well as the first episode show notes in case you want to go back and hear the picks again.
[00:01:05] Speaker C: So if you're in line, stay in.
[00:01:07] Speaker A: Line, stay in line.
Please make sure to vote on the actual investigation on if I rigged the wheel. This is. You are the voice that will say whether or not it happened. And as always, I'm gonna date this podcast. The Dodgers ruining baseball. They got Japanese superstar Roki Sasaki on the minor league deal which is good for them because it extends their window.
But it has prompted people after that they had signed Tanner Scott and Kirby Yates players any team could have signed. And it has prompted people to once again claim that they need a salary cap. The Dodgers are out of control and I'm now flipping sides. Baseball now needs a salary cap.
But if the if the MLBPA is listening and I know they are Tony Clark, big yap off fan. Here's what you need them to give up in order for this to for order to have them us give them a salary cap. You have to have the owners open the books on the teams. No salary floor, no nothing. You have to open the books to the public to show that owning a baseball team doesn't make money.
[00:02:24] Speaker D: All I really heard there was Ted hate labor. But sure, I hate that.
[00:02:29] Speaker A: I hate what you hate labor. I yes, that's exactly right. Picked a lot of picked cop movies and I hate labor.
I just, I just think the wheel more importantly. Yeah, exactly. I just think like look, if you're gonna say you can't afford like if you're House Stein, if you're the Yankees and you're like, yeah, we can't keep up with the spending of the Dodgers. Then you gotta open the books to us because I need proof that you can't spend the money.
[00:02:59] Speaker B: I think you're ignoring the real question here, Ted.
[00:03:02] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:03:03] Speaker B: Is. Is Luca Doncic is gonna throw a strike at Dodger Stadium on his first appearance there. It's ceremonial first pitch.
[00:03:11] Speaker A: It's going to be the worst first pitch you're ever going to see.
[00:03:15] Speaker D: The Wemby one was pretty bad.
[00:03:16] Speaker A: The Wemby one that I. That proves to me tall people can't be pitchers.
[00:03:23] Speaker B: Randy Johnson.
[00:03:24] Speaker A: But like, but that. Okay, he's not seven foot.
[00:03:29] Speaker C: You're vastly understood. He's like seven foot eight.
[00:03:32] Speaker A: No, I'm vastly underselling. Like, it's like, you cannot be that tall. The, like, the, like, kinematics are not there for you to throw a baseball. So am I the only one who's hot about the salary crap? You guys have resigned yourself to the Dodgers dynasty.
[00:03:48] Speaker B: I don't think this is the. I don't think this is the platform for it because we could. We could definitely get into. We could gap off about this for quite a long time. But I know we have.
[00:03:59] Speaker D: Let's save it for the.
[00:04:00] Speaker B: I'm restricting myself from this conversation.
[00:04:03] Speaker A: All right, all right.
[00:04:04] Speaker D: Let's say for the how to fix sports episode, which.
[00:04:06] Speaker A: Yes, well, we'll do a how to fix.
I think actually, no, I think we're gonna do a how to fix baseball. We'll get. We'll do each sport individually.
[00:04:15] Speaker D: Oh, good.
[00:04:16] Speaker A: Yeah. Cause you know, we're. You know how knowledgeable I am about basketball. Is this trade good that the Lakers, like own the Mavericks? I really don't know. Everyone's saying the Mavericks are stupid.
[00:04:28] Speaker D: Yes.
[00:04:29] Speaker A: You know, you trade a 25 year old superstar that you obviously can't pay. What is that, like a Mookie bets type deal?
[00:04:36] Speaker B: It's paid if they didn't want to pay him.
[00:04:39] Speaker A: Yeah, right. He. The Luca Donches has like, he has to get a foot amputated or something. Right. That's the. That's what the Mavericks are not telling us.
[00:04:49] Speaker D: They gotta get him on a Zen pick from the sounds of it.
[00:04:52] Speaker A: Yeah, exactly.
[00:04:53] Speaker D: Every single leak last night from like 1am to 2am was just like, yeah, he's too fat. We can't have this guy on our team. Even though they just went to the finals last year.
[00:05:03] Speaker A: Me watching him like, shoot that game winner over Rudy Gobert. Yeah, that guy's really the problem on that team.
[00:05:12] Speaker C: Just remember, Rudy Gobert shut down the league that basketball away from us.
[00:05:17] Speaker A: I Will never forget when, uh, I did the work. The thanks to Sam worked the 2020, 21 Olympics. I didn't stutter. They kept calling it the 2020, 21 Olympics. It was very confusing for me. And it was the gold medal match. And Sam walked in, goes, I don't want to root for America, but Rudy Gobert. And I looked at him, and I agreed.
[00:05:41] Speaker B: He started it all.
[00:05:42] Speaker A: He did. He's patience zero. Officially not the person in. In Washington. That was the first case. It was Rudy Gobert, actually.
[00:05:52] Speaker C: I mean, he shut down all the leaks.
[00:05:54] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:05:54] Speaker C: Like, it was just a snowball effect.
[00:05:56] Speaker A: He was the. He was the start of the US Economy shutting down.
And now we're in a third, once in a gen, once in a lifetime economic crash.
[00:06:08] Speaker D: Anyway, Rudy's the reason that eggs are expensive.
[00:06:11] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:06:11] Speaker D: Just like laid out over a long.
[00:06:13] Speaker A: Period in a vacuum. Rudy Gobert's the reason gas is expensive.
[00:06:19] Speaker C: In fact, when he was touching those microphones at the press conference, the price of eggs went up threefold.
[00:06:25] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:06:25] Speaker C: I don't know if you know this. Eggs used to cost 65 cents. And as soon as he touched the microphones, they went up triple in price.
[00:06:32] Speaker D: First domino. Rudy touching all the mics. Big domino at the end. A dozen eggs is $20 now, like, right? It is what it is.
[00:06:40] Speaker A: Yeah. Let's get into the actual episode format.
Obviously, first episode was the draft. But traditionally, if there was another hypothetical universe where he had filmed two episodes before this, I would provide a number of questions to our panel here. And they will have six or so minutes to yap about these questions, discuss them, reminiscence how they feel and all that. But since things go funny sometimes, I decided to do a draft for the first episode. For whatever reason beyond me why I did that, but that's what I decided. So we are officially gonna. I got seven questions here about high school. High school memories, as I'm gonna call it. But in a hypothetical universe where we did film two episodes before this, and Sam won the first episode, John won the second episode, and he has written a question for this episode, and his question is, what current idea, slash thing would you have pawned as your own? And I'm imagining this is more like you're back in time and you're just trying to, like, get money or, you know, stock market it a bit.
[00:07:48] Speaker C: You're back. You're back in time. You have your brain from 2025. Eggs are 10 cents a gallon.
[00:07:55] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:07:56] Speaker C: And, yeah, like, what idea would you.
[00:07:59] Speaker B: Crafted into the universe you're Purchasing eggs per gallon.
[00:08:03] Speaker C: That's how it works.
[00:08:04] Speaker A: You don't. You don't.
[00:08:05] Speaker D: That's what it was like in 2006.
[00:08:08] Speaker B: I forgot.
[00:08:09] Speaker A: I remember when I got my driver's license, my mom's like, you have to go to Ralph's and get us a couple gallons of eggs. And I was like, okay.
[00:08:20] Speaker C: It was weird. They did that at 7:11 too, on the East Coast. It was salmon joke and attest to that too.
[00:08:24] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, exactly.
[00:08:28] Speaker B: This is. So. Is this a situation? Like, I'm the only guy that remembers the Beatles exist, and then I.
[00:08:34] Speaker A: And then you write the Beatles songs.
[00:08:36] Speaker B: And everybody loves it. Like, am. I'm profiting off of somebody's future project that hasn't.
[00:08:42] Speaker A: I mean, I'm just. I'm. I'm playing the sound. Just because you're referencing yesterday. Like, we can't have that on this podcast.
[00:08:52] Speaker B: Can't reference the Beatles in any way.
[00:08:55] Speaker A: No, you can. Yesterday's off the date. No, you can't. Yesterday is the problem. The Beatles are okay.
It's the movie that's the problem.
[00:09:07] Speaker B: Got it.
[00:09:08] Speaker A: But yes, that is sort of the idea.
[00:09:15] Speaker B: This is a tough question because I'm not a. I don't know. I'm not like an innovative person. Like, I don't know. Even if I came up with Tik Tok or something, how would I create it at 15 years old? You know what I mean?
[00:09:27] Speaker C: Like, I. I think in that scenario, it's. Yeah, in that scenario, it's similar to the Family Guy cut scene where Ben Affleck and Matt Damon are writing Goodwill Hunting. And it was Matt Damon who wrote the whole thing with Ben. Affleck's like, oh, we did this together, right?
And Matt Damon, like, no. He's like, well, yeah, I mean, I guess we did. So, yeah, I mean, listen, you could. You could find Mark Zuckerberg and you could just write on a piece of paper Facebook, and then he'd be entitled to give you 50% of the company.
What I would do is I would just find my four friends and I would just create impractical jokers and put that on YouTube and I would start to create my own viral content, kind of like smosh, and then become a millionaire by the time I go to college. Because I think it will be fun. You know, there's nothing. Listen, I know that Zuckerberg, Musk, all those guys, they spent so much time, blood, sweat, and tears trying to create this new society and new world, whether It's Facebook, Tesla, PayPal, whatever it was, do Something fun. So I would make Smosh videos. I would do impractical jokers type pranks with my friends, maybe. Dude, perfect.
So that's what I would do because it would be a lot of fun. Now at the age of 33, I can just sit back, kick back and relax and hopefully at this time it's successful, sign a network deal and then I could just cash out. That's what I would do. It'd be a lot of fun.
Yes. So that's, that's my idea.
[00:11:05] Speaker B: Okay, I understand where you're along the lines of the. How the question is framed now.
[00:11:15] Speaker A: I mean, that's how I interpreted the question. Like, it's like I would do like let's plays early on to where I was like one of the first couple channels doing them, because then at least there I would have the audience and then I could just do my dumbass, you know, video essays that I love to do.
[00:11:36] Speaker C: Right. Like, it's easy to say, I'm going to invest $100 in Apple stock. It's like, okay, well, you're underage and you can't do that. Or like you don't know how to create an algorithm for TikTok. So good luck. This is something that you could legitimately do. You buy a camera in this scenario. I mean, it's probably a lot more expensive. Premiere isn't as good as it is today, but you get over that. Like, that is something that is plausible and easier to do than just say, I'm going to create Amazon.
[00:12:03] Speaker B: Yeah, that's tough.
[00:12:04] Speaker C: Which is what Joe wants to do. And that's how he is.
[00:12:07] Speaker B: Not what I want. I said I don't. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not intelligent enough to just make, you know, make something like that. I think I would. Knowing. No. Knowing now what? Or no. Yeah, knowing then what I know now. If that's how the phrase is said, I think I would write a blog. I would write like a sports blog post every week about all this analytics nonsense. And I, in 2006, I would talk about how a strikeout is just as good as a pop out. And I would say shooting 35 from 3 is just as good as shooting 60 from 2, which is moronic. But that's what we all do now. And I would say if you're down by two touchdowns in football, you should always go for two first. That way if you get it, then you get the extra point and you can win. But then, of course, no team ever gets that first, second point or Two point conversion. So all you're actually doing is just relying on getting another two point conversion after the second touchdown. I would do all of the nonsense analytics things that we've taken in sports over the last 20 years and write blogs and just ad nauseam repeat them. And then I would be the big ideas guy that changed the sports industry forever.
[00:13:21] Speaker A: You'll be the Mike DePodesta of our time instead of Jonah Hill.
[00:13:26] Speaker D: Jonah Hill from Joe's favorite. From his favorite movie, Moneyball.
[00:13:31] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:13:32] Speaker B: High school movie. First of all, I didn't say it was my favorite movie. I said it was a steal to get in the sixth round, which you could argue is the most analytics approach I could have had to the, to the movie.
[00:13:44] Speaker A: Yeah. And that's when you realize it's a.
[00:13:45] Speaker C: Really bad pick and steal something that nobody else wanted.
[00:13:49] Speaker A: Yeah, exactly.
[00:13:49] Speaker D: Just thought Royce Clayton was there.
[00:13:51] Speaker B: Oh, you're so, you're so right. Knocked up, you're slow. Right.
[00:13:54] Speaker C: First round pick, the social network that won the draft.
[00:13:57] Speaker A: That's the best move. I was the best. That's the best pick. I, I have. I do agree. That was the best pick. But Sam, what do you. What, what would you, what would your new claim to fame be?
[00:14:08] Speaker D: So I was actually going to go a similar route to Joe and then I guess sort of fork off at the end where I would like, with all my knowledge of the past 20 years, like post my way into all the, you know, smart, like baseball or basketball analytic stuff and then like get hired by a team. And then I'd have all the knowledge of what players are going to be good and who are going to be busts.
[00:14:33] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:14:33] Speaker D: So I could be like, yeah, like trade for that guy. Draft that guy.
[00:14:36] Speaker A: Like trade Luca Doncic for Anthony.
[00:14:39] Speaker B: Exactly.
[00:14:39] Speaker D: Yeah.
But you know, like, oh, we know so and so who was a sin 6th round pick in the NFL, ended up being a Hall of Famer. I can be like, oh, let's make sure we get this guy in the fourth or whatever.
[00:14:53] Speaker A: Yeah, you're gonna be the one to draft Brock Purdy in the first round.
[00:14:57] Speaker D: Well, I wouldn't exactly go with that example, but, you know, I think that there's, it's sort of like, like I really like playing out of the park baseball.
[00:15:07] Speaker B: I don't know.
[00:15:07] Speaker A: Yeah, I love it.
[00:15:10] Speaker D: But I used to really like doing the like, oh, start in 1994 and there's no strike. Or, you know, start in 1998 and see if there's still a home run chase type of thing. But then I Realized you're basically cheating because it's like you have all the knowledge of, like, which guys are undervalued in some teams. Able. And you're like, oh, I know that, you know, Derek Lowe is going to end up being a really good starting pitcher. And right now he's, you know, a 20 potential in Mariners able. I feel like I can get him for nothing. Like, it's just like cheating. And so to be able to do that in real life and look really smart and have everybody revere me would be a really great outcome for my life.
[00:15:49] Speaker A: You will. You will also be the Mike Depot tester of our generation.
[00:15:53] Speaker D: Well, I'm also. I mean, it's like John said, I'm not smart enough to go back in time, be like, oh, let's create Vine, Sam's high school friends.
[00:16:01] Speaker A: Well, like, well, you wouldn't also, you wouldn't make money because vine, that was the whole. Well, you get the money from Twitter when they bought you, right?
[00:16:08] Speaker D: I would. I would have sold it, you know, in theory, but I'm not smart enough to make it in the first place. But I am smart enough to remember, like, oh, you know, lamar Jackson went 32nd in the first round, simply drafted men, number 31. You know, something stupid like that.
[00:16:22] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:16:22] Speaker D: So that's how I become the world's Greatest multi sport GM.
[00:16:26] Speaker A: The first multi. The Shohei Ohtani of GMs.
[00:16:30] Speaker D: Right. I will make the jets win a Super bowl just by remembering not to draft all the guys they actually drafted.
[00:16:37] Speaker B: That's a good actually.
[00:16:38] Speaker A: Yeah, I will. I'd be miserable because I would never hear the end of it from some friends and I can't deal with that. They need. They deserve to be miserable. First question. Depending how y'all answer this first question, you will unlock the secret question.
[00:16:53] Speaker B: Oh, it's like a video game.
[00:16:54] Speaker A: It is like a video game. But did you win a senior best or superlative?
[00:17:01] Speaker B: Is this like.
[00:17:03] Speaker A: It's in the. It's in the yearbook. Joe Brown Best smile.
[00:17:08] Speaker B: That's what they say.
[00:17:10] Speaker A: That's what they said.
[00:17:11] Speaker B: Yeah. I definitely won Class clown and some other silly supertubes like that for sure. I don't. I mean, I could go get my yearbook somewhere in my house to prove it to you, but I think you might already anticipate that I was a class clown.
[00:17:28] Speaker A: Mm. Sam. John, I did not.
[00:17:31] Speaker C: I was the blandest, most insignificant person in high school.
[00:17:36] Speaker D: I straight up don't remember A, if I won anything, but B, I feel like my high school was in the, like, oh, we don't want to do superlatives because it'll make people upset if they don't win type of vibe. I mean, if anybody. I know, if anyone has the Pennington Class of 2009 yearbook, please feel free to fact check me on this at some point. But I genuinely don't think that we did that. If we did, I could definitely have seen myself like getting class clown.
[00:18:06] Speaker A: Well, this isn't. What are you seeing yourself as? And since two of the three did not confidently have an answer or did not could not answer. Welcome to the secret question, boys. What senior superlative do you think I won? I can confirm I did win one. I will. You guys, end of the six minutes, you will have to formally give each of me, give me a guess, and then at the end I will reveal who was either if someone was right or not. I don't want you guys to have to think you have to play ahead or behind here in this game.
[00:18:43] Speaker B: I do just want to quickly throw out there conversation is about a senior superlative. My senior year, I did win prom King. I don't know if that counts.
[00:18:53] Speaker A: Whoa.
[00:18:53] Speaker B: But I feel like it's like a person who goes to Cornell or Harvard or like they have to mention it, like if the conversation is broached. So I feel like I do have.
[00:19:02] Speaker A: Well, we didn't. We didn't bring up problems. We didn't bring a problem.
[00:19:05] Speaker B: So you brought senior support. That was something I won as a senior.
[00:19:09] Speaker A: But that's not a senior superlative.
That's prom king.
[00:19:14] Speaker C: Who is prom queen.
[00:19:15] Speaker B: Well, we know Ted didn't. We know Ted didn't win prom King.
[00:19:18] Speaker A: I famously. Famously, you know, famously. I've mentioned it on John Talks. It's also mentioned in a video. I forgot to go to prom.
[00:19:26] Speaker D: Wow.
[00:19:28] Speaker B: You weren't eligible. That's.
[00:19:30] Speaker A: I wasn't eligible. I was Mr. Irrelevant. I was Brock Purdy.
[00:19:34] Speaker C: Oh. Who was Joe? Who was prom queen?
[00:19:38] Speaker B: Her name. Her name was Deja. She was a lovely lady.
[00:19:43] Speaker C: Did you know her?
[00:19:44] Speaker B: Do you know her? Was.
[00:19:48] Speaker A: Yo.
[00:19:48] Speaker C: What happened?
[00:19:50] Speaker B: Wait. First of all, my. My graduating class was like 65 people.
[00:19:54] Speaker A: So really my graduated class four years.
[00:19:58] Speaker B: Okay, so Ted could have won a myriad superlatives here since he had a small class. Meaning he didn't have a lot of con of competition for like biggest film buff or like, you know, biggest, like, I don't know, sports nerd or something like that. He didn't have a lot of competition. So I think Ted. My guess is Ted won a pretty significant superlative.
[00:20:22] Speaker A: It's significant. Superlative.
[00:20:24] Speaker B: Okay, what do we think, boys?
[00:20:29] Speaker A: I can confirm I did win one, but that's all I'll say.
[00:20:36] Speaker D: Oh, we don't get any more insight than that.
[00:20:38] Speaker A: I know. All right, you each can ask me one question that's not. Like, what's. Like, what superlative did you win? Yeah, obviously.
[00:20:48] Speaker D: My question is, is it related to a physical feature?
[00:20:52] Speaker A: No.
[00:20:56] Speaker B: Is it related to an athletic feature?
[00:21:00] Speaker A: No.
[00:21:01] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:21:03] Speaker C: Is it related to a mental feature?
[00:21:13] Speaker A: I don't know. I don't know how you would. Not mental. It's not a. Not a mental feature. What do you mean by mental?
[00:21:21] Speaker C: Like, I messed up there. I was just trying to commit to the bit.
[00:21:26] Speaker A: I know, I know. Yeah, I'll say yes. I'll answer a yes to that.
[00:21:30] Speaker C: Okay, so was it funniest? They wouldn't do darkest. They wouldn't do jokes that miss. They wouldn't do.
[00:21:37] Speaker A: What do you mean, miss? I'm always.
[00:21:38] Speaker C: They wouldn't do. They wouldn't do pictures of food and obscure lyrics.
[00:21:43] Speaker A: They're not obscure lyrics. These are real thoughts I'm having.
[00:21:46] Speaker C: Sure. Right. It wouldn't be. Most likely to take a picture of yourself in a tub with your cat. Like, it's none of those.
[00:21:52] Speaker A: I've never done that. I did that with the Emmys.
I feel like, let me take a.
[00:21:58] Speaker C: Picture of myself in a cat shirt.
Let me take a picture of this.
[00:22:04] Speaker B: Most likely to solve a Rubik's cube quickly. I think that's mental, right? I think Ted could probably do that.
[00:22:11] Speaker C: Most likely to wear a T shirt with a slowpoke and a backwards hat and a pint of beer.
[00:22:16] Speaker A: Are you just going through my Facebook right now?
[00:22:21] Speaker C: Most likely to take an awkward picture with Kevin Smith, who looks genuinely happy to see you. And the other one not.
[00:22:28] Speaker A: Yeah, he's on my Facebook.
[00:22:31] Speaker B: Oh, my God.
All right, we gotta lock down something mentally like, ah, I don't know. Most likely to become a writer or something. I'm sorry. Because some of those supers are like, occupation based. You know what I mean? Like, someone could become a gymnast or a lawyer or whatever.
[00:22:52] Speaker A: So true.
[00:22:56] Speaker B: I don't know, boys. I think I'm. I'm going somewhere in that occupation based intelligence.
[00:23:01] Speaker A: Well, we're coming because at first I.
[00:23:03] Speaker B: Was thinking of you being, like, a skater boy and seeing you later. Boy. You know, I was a skater boy.
[00:23:10] Speaker A: In junior high, not in high school.
[00:23:13] Speaker B: Oh.
[00:23:17] Speaker C: I have a guess.
[00:23:18] Speaker A: All right, you can formally submit your guests now, John, if you want.
[00:23:23] Speaker C: Okay, I'm gonna go with most driven Insane guests.
[00:23:29] Speaker A: But okay.
[00:23:34] Speaker B: How long did this episode take? The first episode take to get uploaded.
[00:23:39] Speaker A: That's not my fault.
[00:23:42] Speaker C: Wait, can I. The second guess is most accountable.
[00:23:44] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:23:45] Speaker D: Can I say the least ambitious?
[00:23:48] Speaker A: Yeah, you can say insane thing for their. For as a senior superlative. But that could be your guess if you wanted to go.
The going nowhere award.
Well, jokes on them. I'm the second most accoladed person to ever come out of my high school, so. Jokes on them.
[00:24:12] Speaker B: Who's number one?
[00:24:14] Speaker A: Mr.
[00:24:14] Speaker D: Number One?
[00:24:15] Speaker A: It's an actress.
[00:24:17] Speaker B: Oh, okay.
Wow. Actress from California. So original. You know, I. I'm locking in most likely to be a. A.
A journalist, a writer. I don't know. That's what I'm locking in.
[00:24:31] Speaker A: Okay, well, I'm actually, we're gonna announce this right now because no one got a point here.
Most creative, in a sense, you could say. That's what I won. But I won the award for most unique, which in a sense is a bad award considering that everyone's their own snowflake. Everyone's unique in their own way. So really what I did win was weirdest kid Award.
[00:24:57] Speaker B: I guess, if that's how you look at it.
[00:25:00] Speaker A: That's how I looked at it. That's how I looked at it 15 years ago when I won it, my friends agreed. To me, it was like, you're the weird kid.
And when you think about and when I tell you some of the things I've done, it. It makes sense.
[00:25:16] Speaker B: And when you say friends, you mean your imaginary friends at the lunch table? You were saying because you were the most unique.
[00:25:23] Speaker A: I was, yes. That is what happened.
[00:25:26] Speaker C: What was the only boy there?
[00:25:27] Speaker A: Yeah, I was playing Magic the Gathering and card games by myself, though, for. For three years.
[00:25:37] Speaker B: Which is what you still do.
[00:25:40] Speaker A: I don't do that. I haven't. I do not play card games anymore.
[00:25:45] Speaker B: No. It's my job now.
[00:25:46] Speaker A: Yeah, but I won up most unique.
[00:25:49] Speaker B: You really thought. You didn't think there was any positive aspects to being an individual and you could, like, true to yourself?
[00:25:57] Speaker A: You know, it's like. Well, it's like as a high school kid, you're not thinking like, oh, this is like, you're the most comfortable in your own skin. You're thinking, no, you're the weird kid. And like, yeah, I sure went to school in a onesie. I like, played Magic the Gathering, like, openly in front of, like, people without, like, fearing that of, like, social credit.
[00:26:18] Speaker B: I need to see this onesie.
[00:26:20] Speaker A: It's. Hey, if you're like. If you're like, if you're like John and going through my Facebook photos, it's there.
You'll see me giving a thumbs up.
I'll even put it in the. I'll do it in the video version and it'll be in the show notes of this one. I don't care.
[00:26:39] Speaker D: Wait, was it the green man outfit from Always Sunny? Because I did that.
[00:26:43] Speaker A: No, it was like an actual like, pajama onesie.
[00:26:47] Speaker D: Oh, okay.
[00:26:48] Speaker B: You not caring is what makes you so unique, Ted.
[00:26:50] Speaker A: That is like, I really. I pretty sure I wanted. Because I was so indifferent about how these people saw me. Let me see if I can find. Hold on. Please hold. I'm trying to find this photo.
I found it.
[00:27:05] Speaker B: I'm at crack. Detective Perez on it. He hasn't found it yet.
There you go.
[00:27:12] Speaker C: I'm putting it you in a onesie.
[00:27:14] Speaker B: That.
[00:27:14] Speaker C: What?
[00:27:15] Speaker A: I'm putting it in the Discord Chat.
[00:27:20] Speaker C: Oh, you couldn't tell that that's a onesie?
[00:27:25] Speaker B: Yeah, you can if you.
[00:27:27] Speaker C: If you're looking. Okay. If you're looking for it.
[00:27:30] Speaker D: Right.
[00:27:31] Speaker B: I would say jumpsuit. I wouldn't say one.
[00:27:34] Speaker D: Yeah, right.
[00:27:34] Speaker C: Exactly.
[00:27:35] Speaker A: Well, no, it. I will confirm it had a butt flap for me to like, take a.
Oh, that's great.
[00:27:40] Speaker B: Oh, thank. Thankfully.
[00:27:42] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:27:43] Speaker B: If you're at the other photo.
[00:27:45] Speaker C: This is here. So this is what I saw.
[00:27:48] Speaker A: Oh, that. You only saw the crop version?
[00:27:51] Speaker C: Yeah, see, See this got cut off.
[00:27:53] Speaker A: Yeah, that's the. That was the. That's. That was the profile. Pick version because remember, Facebook would like be like. Oh, it would like just like remake a new image in the.
In the. Did you ever feel like a plastic.
[00:28:11] Speaker B: Did you ever feel like when you. When you added a friend on Facebook, like, that was when, like, your friendship became more legitimate. Like before you just classmates in biology. But now, you know, Sam Tidings and I are Facebook friends now. We're actually better friends than we were before.
[00:28:28] Speaker A: No, because I'm absolutely like, there was an idiot.
[00:28:32] Speaker B: Oh, you just didn't care. I get it. I get it.
[00:28:34] Speaker A: It wasn't that like, I did friend like people like almost everyone like I like that would friend me that I knew in high school.
Like, I. I didn't. Well, also, like, for.
This might not be for John. Maybe John, like our first year of high school, we were still had to use MySpace.
[00:28:56] Speaker C: That's correct. Yeah. So like, when it came to MySpace and Facebook, I. My parents did not want me on them, particularly my mother. But then I would just add all of my friends and my friend's parents were also on MySpace and Facebook. And I don't know if MySpace had this, but Facebook definitely did, where you would just show up in the feeds of other people, suggested friends.
So it eventually got outed to my mother that I was on social media, which back then, the dangers weren't what they were today. Having said that, I did feel some legitimacy when I would get some people that would request me, and I'd be like, oh, I didn't know you felt that way about me. Like, yeah, sure, it's official. You know, I felt that way. Ted's the odd man out on this one.
[00:29:38] Speaker A: Especially when it came I won the.
[00:29:40] Speaker C: Award to, like girls and stuff. Like, that was my. I was like, oh, all right. I guess I'm not just some guy that you take, you know, math answers off of.
[00:29:51] Speaker B: That was Perez's superlative. Most likely to give a girl the math answers.
[00:29:58] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:29:58] Speaker C: Here's my requirement to give you a math answer. You were a girl, and you asked me for the answer. That was it.
[00:30:04] Speaker A: It was.
[00:30:05] Speaker B: Understand?
[00:30:05] Speaker A: That's so funny.
[00:30:06] Speaker C: Couldn't guarantee that it was right either.
[00:30:08] Speaker A: Yeah. Because in my high school, if you ask anyone in a different class, like, hey, can I, like, copy your worksheet? Like, you wouldn't even copy. We would, like. Like, you would photocopy it and, like, write over, like, it was a whole thing. Everyone would just give you their answers. Like, no one cared about academic dishonesty. Like, everyone was cheating in high school.
[00:30:30] Speaker D: I did like John bringing up what the perils of social media were because, like, back then, it was like, oh, someone's gonna tag you in a picture with a red cup, and now you're not gonna get into your dream school, and now it's. It's gonna turn you into a Nazi.
[00:30:43] Speaker A: Yes. Yes.
Well, I. I do like the, like, you know, like, you would tell people not to get into cars with strangers and others. An app where a stranger will pick you up and take you home.
[00:30:54] Speaker D: Exactly.
[00:30:55] Speaker A: Question number two. What was your senior quote?
I love the senior quote. I love. It's one of my favorite things to read. And I would love to know what your guys's senior quotes were. I'm assuming you had senior quotes, Right?
[00:31:11] Speaker D: So let me. Let me jump the line here.
[00:31:13] Speaker A: Oh. Oh, boy.
[00:31:15] Speaker D: Oh, yeah. I forgot to send in my stuff before the deadline, so I did not have a senior quote. My senior page was just, like, four pictures of me.
[00:31:22] Speaker B: Embarrassing.
[00:31:24] Speaker A: Damn. That's.
[00:31:25] Speaker D: No, it was very. You know what?
[00:31:26] Speaker A: I want to know what would have it been? What would have it did you know what you wanted it to be? Do you remember that?
[00:31:32] Speaker D: I know. I think it was like, you know, there was, you know, a bunch of stuff you're supposed to fill out for your senior page. I was, like, trying, like, way too hard to get the perfect stuff. And then by the time I was like, oh, I think I got it, they were like, yeah, the deadline was last week already printing, so I don't remember. I mean, it would probably be something, given who I was at that stage of my life. I'm guessing it probably just would have been some sort of rap lyric.
[00:31:56] Speaker A: Okay. My wife, parentheses Borat V.
[00:32:03] Speaker B: If I.
[00:32:04] Speaker D: Was a couple years older, it probably would have been. We discussed on last week's episode.
[00:32:08] Speaker A: I knew it.
[00:32:08] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:32:09] Speaker C: I'll give you mine.
[00:32:10] Speaker A: Yeah, please.
[00:32:10] Speaker C: Because I still say it, and it's common sense. Isn't that common? Hey, buddy, I thought that I was really insightful back.
[00:32:17] Speaker A: Oh, okay, you're. You're mocking yourself on it. Hold on.
[00:32:21] Speaker C: Yes.
[00:32:21] Speaker A: I jumped the gun here.
[00:32:23] Speaker C: I thought that I was insightful. My teachers really liked it. My parents and my parents friends liked it. And I was like, oh, look at me being mature. And everyone will see me as a mature, smart guy. And it's literally just a word play. It's the lowest form of comedy. There's nothing funny about it. I should have done a quote where it was.
I did have one. I did have one quote, which was a. It's just an inside story, which was.
My friend and I, we got called into the principal's office, and he was not a great student. I was. And so it wasn't uncommon for me to get called to the principal's office to be, like, given a task to do something. But he never got called. He would always get in trouble. So we go into the principal's office. Apparently, I. Well, not apparently, because I did do it, but at the time, allegedly, I took his crutches to skip the lunch line.
That was in charge of the lunch line was my homeroom teacher. She knew that I did not have a foot injury, but I still use the crutches anyway, so the principal got wind of that, called me, and basically told me I couldn't do that. And then he was also bullying somebody on the bus, too. So he was there for two crimes. I was just there being an idiot.
[00:33:38] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:33:39] Speaker C: And so as we walk out, and I know that I'm okay, I was like, so we. We don't win the best friends award because it was my senior year. And I thought that we were Gonna win an award or something and that they were gonna present it to us.
[00:33:50] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah.
[00:33:51] Speaker C: So that was going to be my quote. We did not win the best friends award.
But I just wanted to give some context to a. Also not funny story.
[00:33:59] Speaker A: But that's a funny story. I don't know what you're talking about.
[00:34:02] Speaker B: Our resident sleuth John Perez to head over to my Twitter page because my high school quote is also in my Twitter bio, and I want to see if he can figure it out.
[00:34:16] Speaker D: Real quick while John does some sleuthing.
[00:34:19] Speaker A: Hey, Joe. Hold on, please. Hold one second. I. I've read Joe's answer.
[00:34:24] Speaker C: Same.
[00:34:26] Speaker A: Just.
[00:34:28] Speaker B: Why do I get wrong?
[00:34:29] Speaker A: Because you're quoting Oscar Wild brother.
I won't focus.
[00:34:36] Speaker C: I thought that he put partial owner to the packers in there.
[00:34:40] Speaker A: Oh, no. I was ringing. Competitive Pokemon commentator.
[00:34:45] Speaker B: Yeah. Could you imagine my own what I. What I like, like, shot called out, you know, Babe Ruth down dead center field. When I was 17 years old, I wrote professional Pokemon.
[00:34:59] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah.
[00:35:00] Speaker B: So I will say for those, the quote is from Oscar Wilde. Life is too serious to be taken seriously. And I got dinged for it from. From Ted's end. Apparently it's just as bad as common sense isn't so common. Yeah.
And it was. I don't know, it was very important quote to me. Don't want to get all lower. Lower the vibes right now, Joe.
[00:35:24] Speaker A: You can, because I will bring those vibes back up with my senior quote.
[00:35:29] Speaker B: Okay. Well, my dad died, and I was 15 years old, and I was going through it, and my junior year of high school, I was, like I said, going through it, reading the Great Gatsby. Great book. Everyone should read it, by the way. It's a great one and not doing well. And my English teacher at the time, his name was Mr. Paulus, rest in peace. He, like, took me aside, had a nice, important conversation with me, and then he told me that quote. He said, life is too serious to be taken seriously. And, you know, ever since then, that's now, what, 15, 16 years later, I still think about that quote all the time. It's my Twitter bio. It's how I try to live my life. And I look like the biggest fraud in the yearbook because the teacher. The teacher in charge of the yearbook did not put the credit of Oscar Wilde. He just had the quote. So it looked like I.
[00:36:22] Speaker D: Everyone thought it was a Joe Brown.
[00:36:24] Speaker B: Oh, Oscar Wilde's quote. And pretended that it was my own.
[00:36:28] Speaker A: It was a jbo. A Joe Brown original.
[00:36:31] Speaker B: Yeah, exactly.
[00:36:32] Speaker A: I can tell You. Mine. Mine was. I find that pastrami is the most sensual of the cured salted meats. I'm a big Seinfeld head and my friend also senior quote was from Seinfeld. He did their chocolatey. They're minty. They're delicious. Referencing Junior mints from. From the episode the Junior Mint.
My. I can't remember what the episode title was, but I must have had recently had watched that episode. I can tell you the episode offhand. It's the episode where Elaine wants to babysit this kid and the mom does not want Elain to babysit this kid. Meanwhile, the beast storyline is George is learning that he that while having sex, eating and watching sports really gets him horny. And that's what he does.
They merge the A and B plot by George meeting the woman and him getting a whiff of the pastrami she's making. And she says, I find that pastrami is the most sensual the cured salt and meats. And that is in my high school yearbook.
[00:37:35] Speaker B: That's awesome. I didn't. I feel like my high school wouldn't have even if they understood it was a Seinfeld reference, they might not have allowed that to fly.
[00:37:42] Speaker A: Joe, I went to a Catholic school. I'm stunned they printed it.
[00:37:47] Speaker B: That's crazy.
[00:37:48] Speaker D: Catholics love Seinfeld.
[00:37:52] Speaker A: But that is my senior quote. I love my senior quote because it is mine. Well, it's not mine, but it is. You know, I, I. The fact that they printed that. Well, I was so happy.
[00:38:05] Speaker B: No, neither is mine. But it looks like I did create my own.
[00:38:09] Speaker A: I will say my quote is also.
[00:38:11] Speaker B: Still pissed about it to this day because I, I included the, the quotation and the teachers just didn't put it in.
[00:38:17] Speaker A: I, I also included. I didn't. Couldn't remember the character. But I put Seinfeld season, whatever, episode, whatever, that didn't get printed. So it looked like that was an original.
[00:38:27] Speaker B: Thought I had a tco.
[00:38:31] Speaker A: A T. No, it would be a ttl.
[00:38:33] Speaker B: Oh. What? I'm trying to trend acosta. I did. I put you. I put Ted and Trenda in the same spot. Yeah, that's up.
[00:38:40] Speaker A: Yeah, it's okay. Anyways, question number three. What was your biggest regret in high school?
Wow. Yeah, we're going heavy.
[00:38:49] Speaker D: Because.
[00:38:49] Speaker A: Don't worry, mine will lift the spirits once again.
[00:38:52] Speaker C: Oh, boy.
[00:38:54] Speaker B: Oh, Jesus. This is.
[00:38:58] Speaker A: You can give me. You can give me a little. A little one. You know, you don't, you know, biggest is there for punching up the question. You could just give me over Grit.
[00:39:11] Speaker B: Not winning Prom King twice. I mentioned that I have one proper.
[00:39:18] Speaker A: Hold on, hold on.
We can't, we can't, we can't, we can't.
[00:39:24] Speaker B: To the principal's office.
[00:39:25] Speaker A: So yeah, to the princess. Joe.
Joe Brown, please go to the principal's office.
[00:39:31] Speaker B: And then there's fake crippled job Perez next.
[00:39:33] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:39:37] Speaker B: I don't want to go first here. I feel like, I feel like I talk too much. I'm an over talker on, on the app.
[00:39:43] Speaker D: I think that's the point of the podcast.
[00:39:45] Speaker A: Yeah, I'm an oversharer. That's the point of the pod a little bit. But if anyone else wants to go, I could tell my story first. Could put the, put a pause in the.
[00:39:54] Speaker D: Set the tone. Set the tone.
[00:39:56] Speaker A: My biggest regret in high school is not taking my mom to prom backstory.
I'm at, at lunch with my friends and they're like, they're like going, are you going to go to prom? I had, I did have plans to go to promote. I had a date. They didn't go to my school. I was going to go to theirs and then they were going to go to mine. It's one of those exchanges. But I said, I don't know, maybe I'll take my mom. And my friend eyes go wide light. I've given his world the reckoning he did not realize. He looks at me, goes, I'll pay you $500 to take your mom to prom. And then my other friend goes, I'll tack on an additional 250.
So 7:50 on the table to take my mom to prom.
I go home. It's like. And like a week. Week passes. It's the weekend on Sundays. My mom liked for our family to eat dinner together at the dinner table. Like a good, good nuclear family.
So we're talking and I, like, I'm there with my dad and my mom and I go, you know, Tom said he'll pay me. Tom and Chad will pay me $750 to take mom to prom. And my dad's eyes go wide with a light I've never seen before. And he looks at me and he goes, I'll buy you a car if you take your mom to prom.
[00:41:21] Speaker B: Oh my God, your poor mom.
[00:41:25] Speaker A: What do you mean, my poor mom?
[00:41:27] Speaker B: Because this is like, Isn't this the premise of every 90s? Like, you have to take the worst, ugliest, biggest Loser girl?
[00:41:34] Speaker A: No, because, because it' you're. No, cuz it's the.
[00:41:38] Speaker D: You're embarrassing yourself.
[00:41:39] Speaker C: It's the play and then. And then. And then on prom day, she comes down the stairs in the slow motion.
[00:41:46] Speaker B: Super hot.
[00:41:48] Speaker C: Yeah. And then J's like, oh, my God, I think I'm in love.
[00:41:51] Speaker A: Takes off her glasses. Whoa, there's a real babe under there.
No, it's Joe. It's the play on the. You're the loser who has to take his mom to prom.
[00:42:02] Speaker C: No, no, I like this scenario better. The two of you show up prom.
[00:42:06] Speaker A: I'm not a.
[00:42:09] Speaker C: Be like, is that his mom?
[00:42:11] Speaker B: No.
[00:42:11] Speaker C: No way.
[00:42:12] Speaker A: I will say, like, a little wink.
[00:42:14] Speaker C: She's like, I am his mom.
[00:42:15] Speaker A: I will say, someone. Someone did take an escort to prom.
[00:42:20] Speaker B: What?
[00:42:21] Speaker A: I. So that did happen. A couple things happened that I don't believe, but heard from multiple sources that someone took an escort and then that someone had jizzed their pants on the dance floor.
[00:42:36] Speaker B: Oh, my God. What kind of school did you go to?
[00:42:39] Speaker A: Be one with different people experiences.
That's why I won this award, brother. But yes, I. I was propositioned upwards. You know, that's counting for inflation, like $500,000 depending on what car I wanted.
[00:42:58] Speaker D: 125 car. Mars, too.
[00:43:00] Speaker A: Yeah, that I just left on the table because I didn't take my mom to prom. That is my biggest regret.
[00:43:06] Speaker C: Damn. I would have taken your mom for free.
[00:43:11] Speaker A: All right, podcast is canceled. Ross, don't release this episode.
[00:43:17] Speaker B: We never got to see Glasses.
[00:43:21] Speaker C: What a shame.
[00:43:23] Speaker B: Yeah, we did. We also called that. It was Raz.
[00:43:25] Speaker A: Of course it's a Roz. Of course it's Raz. Raz. You're. We have a executive executive producer to help me set up the RSS feed. Took us a week and a half to get approved by Apple. Rael G.
Thank you so much. Appreciate you. That's his name.
[00:43:41] Speaker C: I'm pretty sure Ross was at Steve Jobs's grave. Giving him. Handling handwritten letters, being like, can you hurry this up?
[00:43:48] Speaker A: Please note that he's just sticking to the tombstone. The pod hasn't been approved yet. Anyways, anyone and that person can answer the question now that I've told my story.
[00:44:00] Speaker C: Yeah, I'll go. I. So every year in gym class, we would. We would only have gym inside the gymnasium. We did not have an outdoor space.
And the sports that we would play change by the season. So in the fall, I think we played basketball in the winter with square dancing. And then in the spring was wiffle ball. I played on the baseball team. It was my best sport. It was the only sport that I could dominate my friends in. And so I used to just Hit nukes in wiffle ball class. Well, gym class.
And one day, I hit the ball very far. It was like a home run. I start, you know, and busted out of the box. The thing is, I started gazing at the ball and not looking at base path, which is still in a gymnasium. Like, we just split the two. The two halves of the basketball court. So I'm running up the sideline, and my gym teacher is also looking at the ball, and I just fall right into her. And she definitely sprained her back or something as she immediately walked to the nurse's office and then missed the next two days, next two weeks of gym class. And so my regret is just not looking in the base paths, only because afterwards. And this isn't nice, but this happened 15 years ago, and I think the statute of limitations is gone. All the girls in the class hated her, and they loved me. And this shot my popularity approval rating through the roof for getting them out of gym class. And I can't forget, as I was walking home that day, I had a after school job as, you know, an after school counselor, whatever. So I was walking to the bus. And as I was walking to the bus, the bus stop is right next to my high school because that's how small my town was. This group of. This group of girls that was in my class started honking the horn and then cheered for me as I walked to the bus stop. And they were like, oh, my God, John, you did it. You did it. And I felt so embarrassed. This lady was out for two weeks.
Definitely sprained her back or something like that. I felt terrible.
So I. My regret is just not looking in the base paths when you hit. When you hit the ball hard. So that's what you should do. You should always, you know, bust it out, but also be aware of your surroundings.
[00:46:20] Speaker B: I like that. So many of Perez's memories are, like, tangentially connected to women talking to him.
Like, the first one was about the women asking him math questions. And then. No, I. I like it. I'm saying it's a good thing. I like that. Those are, like. Those are the things that he's to take away. Like girls honking at him, girls asking him for math homework. Like, Prez was a stud.
[00:46:44] Speaker C: Stud is very, very generous there.
[00:46:48] Speaker A: John. Sam.
I mean, Joe Sam. You guys gotta get different J names or something. Longer names. I'll get confused. My brain's not good.
[00:46:57] Speaker B: We gotta figure this out.
I'll go, I guess. I don't know if Sam needs more time or not.
All right. My Biggest regret is being a big fat quitter in sports. So I was playing football on the high school football team my junior year and my senior year. Going into it, I had gone to like some summer training camps, like, with. We went down to like some colleges and like, you know, I was, you know, all into it. I was ready to start my senior year and try to, you know, maybe play in college and whatever, but I was not a starter. But I felt as if I deserved to be started. I felt like I had the skills and the ability, but then I got hurt during the training camp and whole bunch of nonsense happened, yada, yada, and I wanted to quit because I wasn't in the right headspace. I felt like I should be a starter, you know, all the. All these things. And the coaches, like, pull me into a room with all them, and I was just like, yeah, I don't know if I want to do this anymore, blah, blah. And they're like, they try to control me, like, no, you're gonna have playing time. You know, we're gonna help you and help you get to college. Because they knew the college I ended up going to. My head coach was. Was friends with the head coach at the school. So like, I had. I essentially had a good connection, right? And I just let. I let other people make the decision for me in my life, which I've had a problem with many times, like, kind of influence my decision making and my vulnerable state I was in. So I went back the next day and I was like, yeah, I'm gonna. Gonna commit to stop playing. And my coach said, all right, I'm not gonna ask you twice, so. Or I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna ask you to come back twice. So just, you know, give your stuff in.
So I regret not playing football my senior year because even if I wasn't gonna start, I felt like I would had enough playing time. I would have had been able to get some footage for myself to save a couple thousand dollars in. In colle playing football in college.
Not like a full ride, obviously it wasn't anything like that, but every little bit would help compared to the massive student loans I have now. But then again, if I played college football, then I wouldn't have been in all the other things that I did during college because you wouldn't have time for it. So it's kind of like a. A pros and cons situation. But the other. And the other one that test me more, which if I don't never told you guys, is I used to Play a lot of basketball from, like, third grade through eighth grade. That was my main sport. Like, I love baseball and stuff, but I was. Basketball was like, my main sport. I was playing.
And when I got to high school, I never even tried out for the freshman team at my school because all my friends, like, I went to a Catholic middle school that was unattached from the high school or the. Excuse me, the public middle school. So I was like, oh, you're not gonna know anybody, and, like, they're going to be better than you. And, like, again, letting other people dictate my decisions for me. And even if I didn't make the team, right, because who knows, maybe most likely I don't even make the team if I try out. I regret never actually trying out and failing because now here I am all these years later wondering if I would have made the team or not. You know what I mean? Like, I feel like it would have been better to try and be told no than be in the state now where the rest of my life I'll never know. So I guess both football and basketball, and that's in that vein are me. My biggest regret is, is quitting those and never getting an answer on what could have been.
[00:50:29] Speaker A: All right, Sam. Biggest regret, and that's.
[00:50:31] Speaker D: That's deep. I think one of mine would just be that I just wasn't, like, my first few years just, like, not really social enough at. Outside of, like, my core group of friends. Like, there was times where, like, like, here's one. So every year, like, around homecoming, we had, like, obviously a big homecoming football game and, like, a big dance that went along with it. And there was one year where I went to the football game and then did not go to the dance afterwards to watch a Yankees ALDS game. And it was the game where Java ended up getting attacked by the bugs, which was just a gigantic waste of what ended up being, like, four hours of my life instead of, like, going out and being with my social peers.
So, you know, mostly stuff like that. Also in terms of, like, regret in a single moment, a la John's answer.
When I was on the JV baseball team, there was a game we were playing where I was at second base and there was a really high pop up to, like, that sort of Bermuda Triangle in between the center fielder, the right fielder in the second baseman. And I was about to get under it, and the guy who was on second base, I saw he was tagging up, so I took a couple extra steps back so I'd be in a better position to, like, catch it in third or third. And, like, as I was taking that half step back, I felt something pop in my calf, and I just, like, fell down on the ground and was, like, writhing in agony. And the ball dropped, like, two feet in front of me. And everyone thought I was faking the injury because I missed the pop up. And I had to, like, wave over to the, like, my bench to, like, get the coaches out, to, like, help me hobble back to the bench. But the whole time, like, even when I was sitting on the bench, my friends were like, oh, yeah, we really thought you were just faking it and embarrassed that you dropped the ball. And I was like, I promise you, I was going to catch the ball. I just could not stand up anymore. So in terms of, like, a single moment that I regret taking place, that's probably it.
[00:52:31] Speaker A: Good answers by everyone involved. I want to go back to mine real quick. I did ask some other classmates, who I wasn't really in friend groups with, what they would have thought if I had taken my mom to prom. And their response was, oh, we would not have been surprised if you had done that. If you're wondering why I won Most Unique.
[00:52:52] Speaker C: You were doing some polling. You were trying to see how this.
[00:52:55] Speaker A: No, this was after prom. This was after prom.
[00:52:58] Speaker C: Okay, exit polls.
[00:53:01] Speaker A: Question number four. What was your biggest achievement? Joe, you could. Hey, I think you won something or.
[00:53:09] Speaker B: Yeah.
Yeah, I feel like I didn't really get to. Did you make this a proper statement? But I. I did happen to be prom king in my class.
[00:53:18] Speaker A: Oh. Oh, okay.
[00:53:19] Speaker D: This guy.
[00:53:20] Speaker A: Whoa, whoa. New information? New lore that I didn't know about?
[00:53:24] Speaker B: Well, yeah, according to Ted, it's not that impressive because I went to a small class.
[00:53:28] Speaker A: Yeah, no, I didn't say that. I said it's not the same as his senior superlative.
I'm saying it's a different thing. I don't know.
To me, I'd like. Anyways, do you have a big. Is that your biggest achievement, brother?
[00:53:44] Speaker B: That's definitely not my biggest achievement.
[00:53:46] Speaker A: Okay, okay.
[00:53:47] Speaker B: 1. Because I do feel. I do. Personally, I do feel bad because it was a small school. It's like. It's kind of like being principal of a home school.
[00:53:53] Speaker A: Right. Is it like it. Is it like winning an Emmy for a TV show you did no work on?
No, this is not. This is not in. In regards to other work we've done. This is in regards to work we've done before, like, long ago.
[00:54:10] Speaker B: Yeah. Winning an Emmy for a show that they explicitly did not allow us to participate on. But still gave. Gave me a piece of gold for. Yeah, that's a. That. It kind of feels the same way.
No, I would say my biggest achievement I did my junior year. We held a talent show at my high school and I was the host of it and I was a co host. It's supposed to be like a whole two and a half hour night thing. It was me and another person. And at time I was still an idiot who had dreams of like stand up and being. Being a comedian, being funny and entertaining, which obviously that's out the window.
And the other person dropped very standup, like dropped an hour before the talent show started. So then my job was then to go up between each act instead of half the time became between every act. And I was just scared out of my mind. I'd never done anything. And if I go back, if anyone recorded it probably isn't actually that funny, you know, like I'm not that great at it. But at the time I did get a lot of laughs and I had to write material on the spot in an hour to think of jokes at the time, of topical things like, like 3D movies at the time, like Avatar and Alice in Wonderland. I remember that was one of the jokes I thought of. Not funny now. But at the time it killed. And I think that was my biggest achievement was like hosting a whole show by myself as a 17 year old doing quote unquote stand up, but not actually that funny. I think that's the proudest thing I did in high school.
[00:55:46] Speaker D: I'll go with my senior year. I wrote and directed my own short play. It was about somebody not having an idea of what they wanted to write or direct for a play.
And they went over. It went. It was very meta. It went over very well. Meta was in 2000, so Christopher Guest.
Yeah, and it went over very well. And it got to close the senior spring plays thing. Even though I wasn't in like drama club or theater club, they still let me let my play that I directed close the weekend. So I was very proud of that.
[00:56:30] Speaker B: Oh, nice.
[00:56:33] Speaker A: I didn't know you were a playwright.
[00:56:36] Speaker D: Well, I wasn't really. It was just my friend and I just were hanging out in my basement. We're like, we should probably do something for this because we're funnier than everybody else. And we were right. So we wrote it in one afternoon and did not spell check it, which reared its ugly head at some point. But we put it together. We submitted it to the drama teacher who liked it and we Got to cast it and direct it and do all the lighting and music and all that fun stuff. And it ended up being like a 15 minute long show or something like that. But it was my crowning achievement. That and getting into college so I didn't have to live in Pennington, New Jersey anymore.
[00:57:19] Speaker A: Hold on. We'll do a quick for going to college.
[00:57:24] Speaker D: Don't hit the bell. Don't hit the bell.
[00:57:25] Speaker A: I hit the bell.
[00:57:29] Speaker C: He hit a grand slam in a baseball game. Went over the fence. That was cool.
I was similar to Joe too. Like, I was the class comedian, but I just used to rip Bill Barr and Louis CK bits and then just claim them as my own because nobody else watched them at the time in my high school class. So people thought that I was Arsenio. Yeah. Like, they thought that I was the funniest.
[00:57:50] Speaker A: But you're. You're really Carlos Mencia?
[00:57:54] Speaker C: Correct. Oh, my God. Yeah. Like, that was to be like, oh, isn't it crazy? You know, women do this, right? And everyone's like, what are you talking about?
[00:58:03] Speaker D: Those are. Those are the best jokes, women. Am I right?
[00:58:06] Speaker B: And they still ask you for the math homework too.
[00:58:12] Speaker A: For killing that.
[00:58:13] Speaker B: That wasn't a stud. He was right.
[00:58:17] Speaker C: No, like, you know, I hit that home run. It was fun. My brother got the ball, which was cool. It was a nice senior send off.
I don't know. I mean, I got into a mediocre college.
What else? I quit the baseball team my senior year. So nothing happened there. There were no science fairs.
What else happened?
That was really it. Yeah, I guess. I guess that one home run and I beat Spyro for like the fifth time.
[00:58:47] Speaker B: Hell yeah.
[00:58:49] Speaker C: And I was really good. I forgot the level, but I had a good level in Runescape too.
[00:58:54] Speaker B: Oh, nice.
[00:58:55] Speaker A: I was one of those D gens in Runescape that like, had membership. So I would have like the trimmed armor and I would go onto the like open servers and like, scam these kids. Be like, yeah, if you give me like your armor and 50 gold, I could get your armor trimmed. Easy peasy. And they'd give me an idea, even block them, because I'm a. There was a ticket. High school student.
[00:59:15] Speaker B: Wow. There's nothing I believe more than what you just said. I'm like, yes, Ted. Absolutely would do that.
[00:59:23] Speaker A: My biggest achievement, I don't know if you'll believe this.
I won an award for community service in my junior year.
I did three weeks of community service that all in a single year.
Now, the scam of it was that I had Done a summer, over the summer going to my junior year. I was a counselor in training.
So that could count towards your community service because you did not get paid for it. And that is. And it was a sleepaway camp. So that is why I got so much community service time. I got a little certificate when my name got announced for in the top 1% of community service hours done. I was the. I had done the most. My friend and I were in two sitting next to each other having two separate conversations and then like it was my best friend Tom. And then we heard our name and we both turned to look at each other and, and we started laughing.
The teacher who gave me my award st stopped before he said my name cuz he could not believe it. I'm laughing my whole way up there and then I grab my award and I'm laughing all the way back.
Lunch rolls around and I'm talking to my friend Max and he goes, I, I, I, I don't know if you saw but the look on the future valedictorian's face, you might as well had just told her like God is dead. Because she could not like she had a stunned expression on her could mouth agape. Could not believe I had done that many service hours.
So that's my biggest achievement. Scamming the school out of me. Having to do my community service hours for a year.
[01:01:19] Speaker D: Way too good, I feel.
[01:01:20] Speaker A: Yeah, you know, skirting the system.
[01:01:23] Speaker B: Just like your favorite baseball organization, you know.
[01:01:28] Speaker A: The Oakland Athletic. Oh, sorry, the Sacramento Athletics because they don't pay players.
[01:01:32] Speaker D: Yeah, the Athletics now lose. Lose the city.
[01:01:36] Speaker A: Did you see that? These, the SF Chronicle will be calling them the, the Sacramento A's the whole year.
[01:01:43] Speaker D: I'm proud of them. But I did not see that.
[01:01:46] Speaker A: And also. All right, biggest embarrassment, fellas, I can start. If you want to feel good, go in. So I was a high school thespian. I was in drama. I was in the drama class and all that.
For our senior performance we like, we had done our play, but we were gonna do like a series of select scenes and monologues from Shakespeare to sort of end the year. It was also a way to like raise money for the like art department and all that.
So I am supposed to be in a scene for Midsummer's Night, but I, I have to leave to go to New York because my sister was graduating from a little school known as Columbia.
[01:02:35] Speaker D: There we go. Low Lions.
[01:02:37] Speaker A: Yeah, they won the, they did something. They for the last time, they won the Ivy League Football League, if I'm correct.
[01:02:46] Speaker D: Yeah, they did. I have a T shirt and everything.
They were. They were three way co champions and the Ivy League did not believe in tiebreakers. So technically, three of the eight schools won Ivy football this year and Columbia was one of them.
[01:03:03] Speaker A: Aren't they going to have to play against like actual conference schools next year?
[01:03:08] Speaker D: Well, in my college football 25 dynasty on PS5, they're in the ACC.
Things are going all right, so.
But in real life, I don't think so.
[01:03:19] Speaker A: Okay. Anyways, so I had to. I told him was like, I can't like do after school practices because. Or rehearsals because I'm. I like, I'm going to be gone for three days.
And they're like, all right, we'll see if we can switch. So I switched with my friend Sean. He took my scene with a bunch of other people in Midsummer Night, which is why I had to switch and I had to. And I took his monologue from Love Labors Lost.
So they block me and they give me my blocking for my thing and they're like, all right, hope, like try to rehearse. And they know me. I'm like a lazy sack of so. But they're so. They're like, this is not gonna be ready. So we go to.
I go to New York, I'm shadow boxing my monologue, rehearsing it in my head and like taking the steps in my head all weekend. All from like Thursday to like Sunday when we fly back. Monday rolls around performances is on Thursday of that week.
I walk in.
It was a period zero class. So it start. The class started at 7:30 or whatever. I walk in and they're like, okay, Ted, let's see where you're at. And I do it perfectly. Knock it out of the park. 10 out of 10. They could not believe I was that prepared.
And they're like, wow, we're stunned. You're. You're off book and you know all your blocking.
And then they did not have me rehearse at all for three days because everyone. Because everyone else was not in a spot to where I was at.
So Thursday rolls around, our performances are going. I did my dry run. I did fine. I go up to do my actual performance. I get five lines in and freeze and forget the next line.
Yeah. And I am standing there, I don't know how long. Felt like 85 minutes until I remembered and remembered it. Did everything perfectly and walked off. I felt like a piece of the second the whole performance was over. I did not stay for congratulations, goodbyes, last. You know, things like that. I left and went home because I could not bear to be in that area anymore. Next day was our last drama class of the year. They did highs and lows, of course. My low was I froze on stage and forgot my line. And to the teacher's credit, they did not have to say this to me, but they said, you know, part of it's our fault. You were. You showed up on Monday was you were perfect that we. We were so relieved because then we could focus on other people that needed more help. But in. In retrospect, we should have at least had you do it a couple more times. And then when they asked me what my high was, I said, forgetting my lines. And I talked about how it made me a better person learn from my mistakes. And I was saying all this BS until my friend next to me started laughing. And then I laughed because I couldn't hold it together anymore.
[01:06:33] Speaker B: Wow.
I think mine. Mine's somewhat on the same line, but it's individually embarrassing than, like. Well, I guess other people were around for it, so I guess it's all Joe.
[01:06:45] Speaker A: Mine was, like, in a. In, like, a packed theater.
[01:06:50] Speaker B: Yeah, yours is worse than mine. So my high school, how we worked, we all had, like, different. We had different, like, areas of study, right? Like, kind of like you're, like. It was like, preparing you for college. You had, like, a different quote unquote major. So some people did, like, you know, carpentry or criminal justice or whatever. Mine was, like digital multimedia, so, you know, graphic design, video editing and stuff like that.
And I love that class. You know, sophomore, junior, senior year. Like, I was one of the better students at it. Just, like, always dedicated all my time making the school announcements every day with video editing and stuff. And there was a contest for the Union County. Union County College that they had a contest for. And our teacher forced every student to submit something to the competition. And I just had, like, a joke from one of our days. We made just, like, a silly bit on Inception 2. Like, we just did a stupid thing because this is. This was high school. Inception was big at the time. If you watch the last episode, Inception's important to me, right?
But this was not connected to the contest. We just did it as a bit by itself. And we all thought was hilarious because we didn't know any better.
Like, we made, like, a fake trailer of, like, what Inception 2 would be about and stuff.
And so I had to submit a video to the competition. So we chose that one. And the guy that was there was, like, maybe 30, 35 kids from around Union county in the room, and he watched all the videos and gave feedback. The guy was a producer for the Sopranos. Not like head producer, but, you know, he was a real person. He was a legitimate person.
Yeah, exactly. So, like, oh, my God, this is crazy. I'm meeting. I'm meeting a real TV producer, and he's gonna watch my thing, right? I'm gonna be, you know, the next whatever big thing after this. And I just. I should have. I should have inputted nothing. I should have just not went. Because we watched the trailer. No laughs whatsoever from him. And at the end, because he has to give feedback on the ghost, he's like, yeah, so I get. It was supposed to be funny, right? And, like, just my heart sank because it's like, I didn't even want to submit it. I had to put a video in, and I chose that one just because me and my friends thought it was funny in our own inside joke ways. And just like 35 people, like all. Everybody in the room, you could tell the. The air was like, just as he said. Yeah, it was supposed to be funny, right? And I was like. And I still get embarrassed about it to this day. That's my biggest embarrassment. That's a killer.
So it's almost similar to the way he says that is the same as. Perez tells me to stop talking right now. I'm embarrassing myself. Is the feeling. The feeling I got during that high school moment was the stop talking feelings for you guys to understand what I was going through.
[01:09:54] Speaker A: John, biggest embarrassment.
[01:09:56] Speaker C: That's. Yeah, that's a. That's a big.
Well, I mean, Joe, you know that you were wrong in the. Stop embarrass. You know, you're embarrassing yourself.
[01:10:05] Speaker A: Like, who was it that you couldn't. You didn't know who called the Gibby home run?
[01:10:13] Speaker B: No, it was. I see. I'm gonna get in. Joe something. He was an Angels broadcaster. They wanted his call of it instead of Vin Scully. And I said. And I said, who is Joe? Blah, blah, blah. Because I still remember.
No, it wasn't. Yeah, Joe Buck in 1988. Yeah.
[01:10:32] Speaker C: No, it was doing the games back then.
[01:10:36] Speaker B: No, he was not.
[01:10:37] Speaker C: Yes, he was 100 on those. Well, Jack Buck. Jack Buck was on the.
[01:10:41] Speaker B: It was not Jack Buck. It's another Dude. See, this is why this whole conversation is pointless. This. This approves my argument. A bunch of 30 year olds. We don't know who this guy was. He retired. He retired from broadcasting, like, 1995. Also. Like, that's why I defended myself in this argument. Which I don't want to keep yapping off about. Raz will remember it, but the rest of the audience won't. That I didn't know who that guy was because he retired when I was two and a half years old. And he's not freaking Jack Buck or Vin Scully. And they. And those said, a person who shall remain nameless, who's one of the worst human beings on the planet, shall remain nameless, said. Who just said that out loud. And I just adamantly was ready to fight. And I said I did. And they said, how do you not know? Well, and he kept going off on this. And I defended myself. I was 3 years old when you were talking. Retired. He was an Angels broadcaster. Like, nothing that I would know. It's child. Blah, blah. And then one of our wonderful co workers say, was it. Seriously, stop talking right now. You're embarrassing yourself. Which I did not take kindly to and had to make a couple phone calls and restrain my. Restrain my hands during that. During that time, I had to leave.
[01:11:54] Speaker C: So was it Joe Garagiola?
[01:11:58] Speaker B: That does sound familiar.
[01:11:59] Speaker D: That's a good call.
[01:12:01] Speaker C: Yeah. Nailed it. Yeah, the three of us knew it anyway. Yes.
[01:12:06] Speaker A: I'm on your side, Joe. I want you to know I'm on your side.
[01:12:10] Speaker B: Thank you, Ted. Dude, Perez sucks. All he does is get talked to by girls. And no obscure broadcasters.
[01:12:18] Speaker C: I know Tidings knows who he is.
[01:12:21] Speaker D: Yeah.
[01:12:23] Speaker B: Did you. Did you know him when you were two and a half years old, when he retired?
[01:12:26] Speaker C: Well, no, I was two and a half, but when I was working for the worldwide leader in Major League Baseball, the Zone.
[01:12:34] Speaker B: Yeah, we're gonna act like he's Mel Allen out here. Okay, Cool. Got it.
[01:12:37] Speaker C: Yeah.
I took an SAT prep class, and if I ever have to take the SAT again or I'm glad that I never have to take it again.
We were doing the front portion, which was we had to write a paragraph on whatever.
[01:12:57] Speaker A: Oh, it's. The essay portion is usually the first sec. Was the first session when we took it.
[01:13:02] Speaker C: So we were doing mock essays, and I guess my class, like, didn't do so well, and so I forgot what I wrote online. But my teacher, she was blindly reading. She'd be like, oh, you know, these responses are a little lackluster. She'd be like, for example, this one, you know, like, you're missing the plot line here. This. You're missing details. Blah, blah, blah. She gets to mine and she goes, what is this? This isn't even a sentence.
Like, I don't get. I Don't get the point that's trying to be made.
It's just as colleges are going to look at this and they're just gonna laugh at it. And I was like, Jesus Christ. I didn't think it was that bad, but it had the energy of Billy Madison where not only was my answer wrong, but may God have mercy on your soul.
And yeah, so I felt it. And then I, like an idiot, I said something like, yeah, yeah, can't win them all. But nobody else outed themselves. I was the only one that outed myself. So everyone knew, well, you know what? What can you do?
[01:14:19] Speaker A: Jesus. Brutal.
[01:14:20] Speaker C: And yeah, so that was, that was my embarrassment. I mean, it didn't. I then ran into my gym teacher. So like that alleviated everything else. So I.
[01:14:29] Speaker A: You became a hero.
[01:14:30] Speaker C: That happened.
[01:14:33] Speaker B: Pent up aggression?
[01:14:34] Speaker D: Pretty much, yeah.
[01:14:37] Speaker A: Sam. Biggest embarrassment.
[01:14:39] Speaker D: Sure. So I, at one point in my life was actually kind of like smart at science and math or so I thought.
Like, I was in like honors bio freshman year, did well. I was in honors chem sophomore year, did well. And so junior year they put me in AP field physics and I was like, oh cool. Like more science. I'm gonna be awesome at this. The first test I got a 10%. Oh, and just to break down the numbers a little bit, I got five points for name and date being.
And I got the first question correct, which was worth five points.
[01:15:23] Speaker B: Points.
[01:15:23] Speaker D: And I got nothing else, even partial credit the rest of the test. And I like, the teacher wrote see me in red on the thing and he was like, I don't think this is going to work out. I was like, yeah, I don't either. So then I went into regular physics and their first assignment from when I picked up was to build a bridge out of popsicles. So that ended up being.
That ended up being more my speed and sort of set me on the course of not being able to put together anything like numbers wise the rest of my life.
[01:15:59] Speaker A: Oh man.
[01:16:01] Speaker B: Wow.
[01:16:02] Speaker A: All of your.
[01:16:03] Speaker B: Hey, can't win them all, you know.
[01:16:06] Speaker A: Listen, Yeah, listen, I'm gonna.
[01:16:11] Speaker D: It would have been worse if I didn't even get the five point. Like if it like left my name off. I'd been like, oh geez.
[01:16:16] Speaker A: Like, I gotta say total up.
[01:16:18] Speaker D: But at least I lock that down.
[01:16:19] Speaker A: I know it's episode two, but we got our first ever tie on a question. I can't, I can't put any of these better or worse.
[01:16:26] Speaker B: We're all embarrassed.
[01:16:28] Speaker A: They're, they're, they're embarrassing.
[01:16:30] Speaker D: There are Some low lows in this.
[01:16:33] Speaker A: Hey, I'm glad that's what high school was. That's. I look, I do look finely on my high school time. But I was, my biggest mistake, like was taking AP English in junior year.
[01:16:46] Speaker D: And like AP English.
[01:16:48] Speaker A: I, I was so. Well, I was such a bad student. Like, I just didn't want to be a student. And so like that was what.
[01:16:56] Speaker B: Yeah.
[01:16:56] Speaker A: And I was just like. My friend was in the other AP class and he was just like, I'm gonna switch classes. Like I'm gonna, I'm gonna fail. And I looked him and said, look, if I don't pass, I'm gonna switch. I got a 75. And I was like, on the one hand I passed an AP class. On the other hand, I have to stay in this class.
[01:17:21] Speaker B: Yeah, that happened to me.
[01:17:22] Speaker A: Why?
[01:17:23] Speaker B: I was a very good history student where I was an awful student, like, just as you were saying. And my history teacher refused, even though I was good at it, like refused to allow me in the AP history class because she said, I know you're not going to do the work, but even though you have the grades for it, I'm not gonna allow you to, to be in the class. I was like, you know what? That's fair. I respect you for, you know, for being honest.
[01:17:47] Speaker A: Like, I, I like, I have a very good memory. And like I, it's like very selective. I was in one of like the rel in seeing my freshman year, whichever my second semester religion class was, was absolutely bombing. And. But we would, she would give these tests where she's like, put these things in order and I would crush it every single time. And that would be like, you pass your paper to the student in front of back you and they'd grade it for you while she read it out. And then she'd be like, all right, stand up if you got 100%. And I'd always stand up. And it was happening so frequently, but I was failing my tests so often that she was like, Ted, you have a fantastic memory. You just don't use it very well. And I was like, yeah, I gotta remember my Pokemon stats. I gotta remember the type weakness chart. And it was. And then fast forward to three years later. My. In my US History class, which is a teacher who learned to love me a lot because I could answer these questions. He, he. We walked in, we were supposed to have a test that day and it was pretty like early on. And he's like, all right, you know what? You're supposed to have a test Today I'm going to pick a random student. If they can answer this question, you guys don't have to. Everyone gets an A. And no one, you guys don't have to take the test. And I think in my mind, he's deliberately picking me.
And he picks me. And he goes, ted, name the 13 original colonies. And I do it in north, south, order perfectly. And he goes, all right, no test everyone.
[01:19:23] Speaker B: There you go.
[01:19:24] Speaker A: Yeah. And then he. And he had recommended a student at the end of that year to the AP classes in their senior year. And we're all laughing because, why would you take a AP class in your senior year? And then he goes, ted, I don't know why you're laughing. I recommended you too. And I said, that's not happening to it. To a teacher's face. I said, that's not happening.
Anyways, question number six. If high school were an rpg, where what would have been your role? Sl, job, class, archetype, whatever you want to call it. I feel like we have an answer to this question.
A gesture of sorts for a couple of us.
But I'm interested to see how. How you are, what sort of role you're carving out for yourself.
[01:20:08] Speaker D: I am not well versed enough in RPGs to have, like, a specific reference from, like, a specific game or anything, but I don't know, I would say that my role would be more of, like, the.
I don't know, because, like, I liked sports, but I wasn't good at sports.
I was good at school, but I didn't like school. Like, I was just sort of like the middle of everything. Like, I had a decent amount of friends, but not like, I wasn't like, oh, everyone knew me in the school type of thing. So I don't know, I guess I would go with, like, trusted advisor more than, like, Jester. But I was good at, like, getting people's ears and getting them to.
To do what I said you were.
[01:21:02] Speaker B: Well, I was gonna say you're like Mario. You're the all rounder, where you're your stats, like Mario Kart or Mario Basketball or Mario whatever.
[01:21:10] Speaker D: You don't have any basketball play.
[01:21:14] Speaker B: They're absolutely.
[01:21:16] Speaker A: I play basketball.
[01:21:18] Speaker B: I play Mario Nintendo DS right now and play 3v3 Mario basketball hoops right now. But his stats are not supreme in any one category. But they're well rounded in all aspects. Compared to, like, Donkey Kong, who's high power, low speed, or Yoshi, who's high speed, low power or something, you're. You're an all rounder.
[01:21:38] Speaker D: I would be if we're. And Mario Kart is not a one to one here. Yeah, yeah, but, yeah, maybe. Maybe more like a boo or a shy guy. Just sort of like around. Not everyone's like, number one pick, but fun to be around.
[01:21:58] Speaker A: Just for reference, since, you know, Joe said he was in a class of what, 65?
[01:22:02] Speaker B: 85, I think. Well, 60. 65 in my graduating class, but there was five different schools on the camp. It's hard to explain.
[01:22:13] Speaker A: Yeah, mine was around, like. Yeah, I was gonna say mine also was around 90 something. John, what was. Just for reference, what was your school graduating class size?
[01:22:25] Speaker C: Like 300, 400.
[01:22:26] Speaker A: Okay. Yeah. All right. He's. He was the big boy.
[01:22:29] Speaker B: How do you know that many people?
It's crazy.
[01:22:34] Speaker C: Over time, you learn the names or you just, you know, you sit at the same table for four years.
[01:22:41] Speaker A: Yeah, that's. That's sort of what happens.
John, what RPG archetype role would you fill?
[01:22:48] Speaker C: It's like Toad in Mario Party, you know, like everyone's just going around the world and I'm just there.
[01:22:54] Speaker A: You're the one that gives the stars. Yeah. You're giving the stars.
[01:22:59] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah, that's what.
[01:23:01] Speaker D: Giving the notes.
[01:23:02] Speaker A: Giving the notes.
[01:23:04] Speaker C: Yeah, go with that.
Yeah. A lot of everyone looked like Princess Peach to me or they looked like Bowser, so. But I didn't discriminate. I just gave answers out to anybody. Yeah, I mean, I was just the definition of an in betweener. I also looked. I'm not kidding. And I got to find the photo. It's probably on my Facebook.
I did look like McLovin. Like, I had the shaved head and the glasses, so I. I did. And I only shaved my head because I was told I looked like Napoleon Dynamite and I didn't like.
[01:23:39] Speaker B: Oh, well, that's not a good compliment. Not a. Yeah, I agree.
[01:23:43] Speaker C: Yeah. But apparently if you had curly hair and glasses back then, you were Napoleon Dynamite no matter what you look like.
[01:23:50] Speaker D: Like.
[01:23:51] Speaker C: Yeah, exactly. So, yeah, I guess Toad would be the right answer. I don't know who's someone that's just there can provide some comic relief. And.
[01:24:02] Speaker B: Luigi. Luigi's a good answer.
[01:24:05] Speaker C: Yeah, Luigi's good. Yeah, I'll go with Luigi.
[01:24:07] Speaker A: You're. You're like the. Wears glasses, like the, like kind of like forgotten second fiddle. But like, you got your moments, you know, like you got your. Your boat. You have, like, you have a need when you are needed.
[01:24:22] Speaker C: Correct.
[01:24:23] Speaker D: Right.
[01:24:24] Speaker A: Joe, I don't know how we landed on Mario.
[01:24:27] Speaker B: I wanted more like I was trying to help Sam. I wasn't trying.
[01:24:32] Speaker D: It was helpful.
Mario for everybody.
[01:24:35] Speaker A: Yeah, I know. That's why I tried to like specify what I meant by Luigi with John.
[01:24:41] Speaker B: I mean, if we're using like the.
[01:24:42] Speaker A: Rpg, let's not stick with Mario party here, brother.
[01:24:48] Speaker B: Oh, I'm a dry bones.
No. Yeah. I. I don't know. Because I was an athlete. Like I did play sports, but I was also the clown, the class clown. Right. And so like kind of like a bard, I guess I would say. A bard. Someone who would use my words for influence, either by telling jokes or, or you know, being funny or whatever. But like an athletic bard, you know what I mean? I don't know if that's a category that you could be.
[01:25:17] Speaker A: Well, it'd be like a bard who likes also multi glasses in the fighter or whatever. Or barbarian.
[01:25:23] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. So that's. I was definitely a bard esque person. I was never like. I don't think I was like the leader of groups, but I was always the funny man. I'd always have the zingers always ready to go. And I was. I feel like I was a glue. A glue character in friend groups, you know what I mean? Like you'd have a group of five or six people. I was that fifth or sixth guy that like helped lock it down, help solidify it as a friend group. But I was never like the main guy of the group, you know?
[01:25:53] Speaker A: Yeah, I see what you mean. I'm definitely was the same as Sam. I was that more like a chameleon. Like I could in any feel like separate sex of groups there were. I could easily like just like have a conversation with those people without like causing offense.
[01:26:10] Speaker D: Yes.
[01:26:12] Speaker A: But like I was also like very.
[01:26:14] Speaker D: Easy to make friends.
[01:26:15] Speaker A: Yeah. I was like, I would like, I. And this is still true to this thing. Like I don't like code switch between friend groups. I talk the same to all my friends exactly the same way. And like I. But it's just more that like I had so many interests. Like I could talk sports, I could talk video games.
I could like, I can actually answer some school questions if you needed it. But like I was very much so like, like a charisma type Andy, you know, but that's how I've always been.
I was. But in my friend group, specific friend group if we want narrow this down.
I don't know. I was definitely like the like initiator of things. Like I was the reason we moved playing magic from the confines of like the dark side of the library to the Lunch table out in public. We also played a lot of different card games, like with regular playing cards. So I was definitely in the like, no, let's just like do this instead. You know what, whatever initiator type in this sense makes sense. All right, last question.
What in high school caused you to be here right now on this podcast? In short, what went wrong?
[01:27:36] Speaker B: Wow.
Too many things.
[01:27:39] Speaker A: I'll start with you.
[01:27:42] Speaker C: Oh boy. All right, well, let's get down the rabbit hole. So I didn't apply myself when I should have, obviously.
So I should have.
The way I prepare for games now and things like that is it's just rapid memorization and playing with index cards and memorizing things. I should have done that my freshman year with the SATs and just memorized a thousand words and what they meant and taken SAT classes my freshman year. That way I get into Duke, I go to Duke, get into massive amounts of debt, but maybe make some connections along the way.
So that happens, go to a good school, link up with some production house or some content creating or maybe I just call games at the Duke radio station. And now I'm living in ACC country and really not settling.
So yeah, it came to settling because then what happened was I settled for St. John's and then I had some intern and play by play opportunities, but I chose to go to Cape Cod, which then led to me video editing, which then led me to MLB and then meeting you guys and then now I'm here. So yeah, it's. It's a whole long strain of things, but I should have applied myself a lot more.
It still ripped off jokes from Louis CK and Bill Barr, but like also have like a 200 average.
Sure.
[01:29:02] Speaker D: So I would, like I said earlier, definitely paid an inordinate amount of attention to sports instead of other more lucrative career opportunities like banking or lawyering or whatnot. And also like got involved with a lot of video production stuff when I was in high school. So that meant in college when I was looking at jobs, I was looking at random video editing stuff or random stuff with sports teams and whatnot and ended up logging soccer for NBC out of college and then after a few years ended up at MLB with you freaks. And now I'm on the podcast dredging up all my miserable high school memories and some good ones.
[01:29:41] Speaker A: I wouldn't say they're all miserable things.
[01:29:44] Speaker D: No, there's some good in there. But mostly it was just like I knew I always wanted to do something in sports and I had a somewhat experience in video editing and that Ended up being useful, like, to find a job instead of like, me applying to more like, you know, like at Columbia, they like, only want you to apply for, like, you know, oh, you don't want to work for Goldman, you don't want to work for, you know, Blackrock, whatever. Like, you're not going to apply to med school or law school. Like, why are you even here? So I didn't get like a ton of help in finding jobs that were more like, oh, I actually like content stuff. I would love to do something related to sports. And I was sort of out on my own instead of like, oh, hey, we can just set you up with a 250k a year banking job this summer after you graduate college. So if I had gone that route, I'm definitely not on the podcast, but instead, here I am talking about sports in high school and the Luca trade and all that with you guys.
[01:30:51] Speaker A: Joe, what went wrong?
[01:30:54] Speaker B: You know, I think my dad dying definitely threw a wrench into my plans. I'm not gonna lie to you. I think that might have influenced some of my decisions in high school to be completely transparent.
Yeah, I would say going back to that quitters mentality that I had in high school and letting other people influence me, like telling me, don't try out for basketball, you're just gonna get cut. Or like, people saying, like, to quit playing football and all, all these things and allowing that to influence me meant that I was going to college and paying for it instead of having some money to help. But then I was working with the college radio station starting, like right away my freshman year, right when I got onto campus, started helping with football, basketball, baseball, volleyball, whatever, for all four years, which, that led to having the sports broadcasting background, which led to the having experience when I was in Pokemon and going down that route, but basically by not playing a sport, it meant me, you know, the same route you guys are on, working, working with sports and develop that passion for sports professionally to stupidly apply to work at MLB. As a 22 year old out of college, thinking I had made it, you know, oh, man, I'm gonna. I'm gonna see Derek Jeter in the hallway every day, you know, just like. Yeah. And then we saw Keith Hernandez one time. That was cool.
[01:32:20] Speaker D: I saw a lighter one. Steve's in the.
He was in the restroom.
[01:32:24] Speaker B: Nice.
[01:32:25] Speaker D: I don't know why he was on.
[01:32:26] Speaker A: Our floor, but our floor wasn't even. Our floor wasn't even. Yeah, an MLB floor. That's how much they hated us.
[01:32:34] Speaker C: I met Orbit.
[01:32:35] Speaker B: Yeah.
I Do I do actually wonder if I didn't do Pokemon, where I would be right now, like, obviously still in the podcast with you guys, because, you know, we still became friends at mlb, but, like, would I still be at MLB all these years later? Like, for the last three, three and a half years, I've really been pushing for Pokemon full time and trying to do esports and commentary because, like, maybe instead of Pokemon commentary, you know, I might be doing other collegiate sports the way that Perez is, you know, working with college and high school media and. And stuff. And so, like, would I have just played it safe and just kept my mob job eight months out of the year without insurance or being treated like a human being? Or I would. I have still tried to branch into some type of broadcasting career even if it wasn't Pokemon? I do. I do often wonder that.
[01:33:33] Speaker A: Interesting.
Yeah. High. Nothing went wrong in high school, though, why I'm here. This podcast is more boring out of. Needed a distraction from what happened in November.
[01:33:47] Speaker C: Would your life have changed if you took your mom to prom?
[01:33:50] Speaker D: I was gonna say not taking your mom to prom.
[01:33:52] Speaker C: Yeah.
[01:33:53] Speaker D: That's what caused you to be here at this moment.
[01:33:55] Speaker A: No, I.
[01:33:55] Speaker D: You would have got bars. I. I would have bought Bitcoin in 2010.
[01:33:59] Speaker A: I would have. I would have been rich. Look, I would have been rich. I think I, like, still would have, like, wanted to do what? Like, go to the college I went to and then the neverly. Like, not find a place to work until our mutual friend Evan got me a job at mlb.
[01:34:19] Speaker B: You would had a broken hand from the so many high fives. You would have been given out for taking your mom to prom that you would have broke your hand.
[01:34:27] Speaker C: Oh, $500 in 2010. Come on.
[01:34:30] Speaker A: Well, it also was a lot other more. There was more money than $500 on the table.
[01:34:36] Speaker C: That's my point. You could have put money down on properties. What a missed opportunity.
[01:34:40] Speaker A: Look, I know. Why do you think I said it was my biggest regret?
[01:34:44] Speaker D: It's also real estate.
[01:34:46] Speaker A: It's also a very funny thing to say as a regret.
[01:34:50] Speaker C: Oh, in Hollywood, look, I'm away. It would have been the start of selling Sunset guys.
[01:34:57] Speaker A: I know that I've messed up. Look, I'm so confident that if with that money, nothing is radically changing in how I'm living, how my life is.
[01:35:07] Speaker B: I'm still like, I'm still confused. Like, why did your dad incentivize you with a car to take your mom to prom instead of just like, money telling, like, just telling you, like, hey, it'd be nice if you took your mom to prom. You love your. She's really nice. Why did he have to incentivize you?
[01:35:25] Speaker A: It. It.
[01:35:26] Speaker B: He likes her, obviously, right?
[01:35:28] Speaker A: Like, yeah, they're still married.
[01:35:31] Speaker B: What's wrong with her? You need a. To take your mom.
[01:35:34] Speaker A: Joe, how are you not saying this? It's the, like, loser trope of taking your mom the prom. That was enticing.
[01:35:42] Speaker B: I know, but I keep coming back to her side of this story.
[01:35:46] Speaker D: Everyone loves bits.
[01:35:48] Speaker A: Everyone's. Sam's getting it. Everyone. Joe, even back then, I was loving bits.
[01:35:55] Speaker B: You were in it for the bit. Yeah, I'm.
[01:35:57] Speaker D: I'm serious. Some people are bit people.
[01:36:00] Speaker A: I'm a bit person to the day I die. I. My friends keep saying. My college friends keep saying I have commitment issues, but I keep coming to the bits, baby.
All right, I. Running the calculations, it's a close episode, but, Joe, congratulations.
And I want to say your last answer is no. No, Joe, congratulations. You are today's prom king for this episode. Yes, Joe, your last. Your last answer really pushed it over the edge for me. That first sentence out of your mouth really pushed it over the edge.
[01:36:48] Speaker B: I tell you, the dead dad is a good zinger every time in a conversation killed me.
This is the second greatest feeling I've had in my life. Second to obviously being promoted. I really did think there was gonna. We were gonna be 15 episodes deep. And Perez and Sam just continue to keep winning by narrow, like. Like chiefs referee. Narrow margins.
[01:37:14] Speaker A: Whoa, what do you mean, referee? The refs are the good guys.
[01:37:19] Speaker D: The episode I won didn't even air. I'm like, I'm the night I was the champion. I wasn't allowed to finish my season.
[01:37:27] Speaker C: Season.
[01:37:28] Speaker D: Show it off to everybody.
[01:37:29] Speaker A: Joe, you're the first winner. What do you mean there have been no other winners?
[01:37:35] Speaker B: That's right. There is no physical evidence.
[01:37:39] Speaker A: Well, there's physical evidence.
You're matchy tail.
Oh, God. I will. I will say technically, first winner is me. Right now, I'm winning the. Currently winning the high school movie draft. But that can change between now and the next episode. Don't forget to vote for that. It's in the show notes of this episode. In the show notes of the first episode. Stay in line if you're in line to vote. This has been the second episode. People keep talking reckless that they've been other episodes. That's crazy. But this has been the second episode. Joe will be writing a question for our next episode, but for now, thanks for listening. You can subscribe to the RSS feed that our executive producer Roz set up. Thank you, Roz. Even though it took a week and a half to get everything off the ground, I'm blaming Apple for that one, not him.
Rate good things, whatever you're supposed to do. I don't really know the call to action stuff, because I don't care. I just want you to vote for who won the high school movie draft. Thank you for listening. I've been your host. Ted. The last piece of media I watched was Psych Episode Season five, Episode six, whichever the Fast and Furious homage was.
